Bis vivit qui bene vivit

She who lives well lives twice.

I love my job.

Okay, so technically I’m only an intern, and technically I’m the low man on the totem pole, and technically I should be making coffee all day long, because I’m pretty sure that’s what internships are about these days. But my internship is AWESOME because a) I don’t ever make coffee (although I could, for myself, if I wanted to–we have 3 different coffee machines); b) I get to do really cool, really fun stuff all day long; and c) I’m actually doing stuff that gets put into the app the company makes, rather than background research or something useful but not prominent. It’s super cool to open an app and be like, oh hey, I know the answer to this question because I wrote it.

Or it would be, if I could open the app on my phone. But I’ve got a Droid and we’re currently only on iOS. Which is a shame, because I really like the Droid OS and I really like the app but I can’t like them together. But anyways.

Another perk of my job is its total casualness. I go in wearing jeans and sneakers, and if I put on mascara people tell me I look nice and ask where I’m going that evening. Once I wore a dress from Costco and the entire Art team complimented me on it. Hmm. I can also swear (I never thought the phrase “there’s a fuckton of merge conflicts” would ever appear in my lexicon, but it has) like a sailor on shore leave. And the topics that we cover at mealtimes? Yeah, those are pretty awesome too. In the past three days, we’ve discussed

  1. Wedding veils and hairstyles to match them;
  2. Sex toys, specifically massage oil in a lotion bar form, from a sex toy shop in downtown SF;
  3. Late-term abortions under medical necessity;
  4. Merge conflicts in GitHub;
  5. The merits of gel nail polish versus regular polish;
  6. Dead bird carcasses;
  7. Names for Ben & Jerry’s new San Francisco-themed ice cream;
  8. How Python is similar to Lua/MOAI and why functions work the way they do;
  9. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge;
  10. How Idaho truly is personified by the potato;
  11. Everything going on at WWDC, including the new iPhone app icons and how they differ from the old ones;
  12. LOLcats;
  13. Milky Pens (flashback from the 90s, anyone?);
  14. Content deploys from the local repository to the live app;
  15. Video games;
  16. VHS tapes and floppy discs;
  17. Parents and grandparents who are putting the pressure on re: marriage and grandchildren;
  18. Tootsie rolls; and
  19. Fanny packs.

Yes. Yes we did. 

I spend my whole day smiling because I get to do work I enjoy with people I like while learning things. Life really doesn’t get much better than that.

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Natura non facit saltus

Portland International Rose Garden: One fine June day.

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Natura non facit saltus

(no photoshop whatsoever.)

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The Engineer’s Guide To Being A Normal Person (Or At Least Making A Credible Attempt)

  1. When it’s lunchtime at the office, that doesn’t mean it’s time to take out the Magic the Gathering cards.
  2. Nor is it time to discuss anything about LARPing.
  3. The same goes for any sort of RPG.
  4. Anything with elves or warlocks is off-limits too.
  5. Sometimes, people will be smarter than you.
  6. Gothic, off-the-shoulder vampire dresses are not appropriate office wear. Especially if your bra is red.
  7. If your skirt is too short to cover your thighs–that is, more than four inches above you knee–then it also not appropriate office wear.
  8. Jeans are fine. Jeans you wore in high school are not fine.
  9. Actually, anything you wore in high school is not fine.
  10. Bodily functions do not make good fodder for dinner conversations. Particularly bodily functions under the influence of gastroenteritis or food poisoning.
  11. Burping is a bodily function. Therefore, it should not happen at the dinner table.
  12. Conversations beginning with “If someone had a really erect nipple…” shouldn’t take place during lunch.
  13. Really, any conversation with the word “erect” in it is probably NSFW.
  14. Cartoons wherein sexual activities are depicted are definitely NSFW and should never be posted on the company-wide chat program. Nor should comic books with sexy times be handed out or read while in the office.
  15. If your dinner table conversation involves calculus or Xcode, you’re doing it wrong.
  16. Ditto Python, Java, C, C++, MOAI/Lua, or Pearl.
  17. If the words “open source” find their way into what you’re saying, change the subject.
  18. Probably the colleague sitting next to you doesn’t want to hear about your weekend playing Dungeons & Dragons, even if it was your turn to be the Dungeon Master.
  19. If it’s an inside joke, you should try not to reference it in front of lots of people who aren’t on the inside. Particularly if it could be misconstrued as offensive by someone who doesn’t understand just how funny it was.
  20. There are people out there who are smarter than you. Just because they are few and far between does not mean that they don’t exist. Really.
  21. Sometimes the people who are smarter than you will be women. The fact that they didn’t major in computer science doesn’t mean they weren’t capable of doing so; it only means they wanted to do something else instead. Condescension will not be appreciated.
  22. If you’ve been wearing it all weekend, wearing it to work on Monday too is not a good idea.
  23. Shower.
  24. Bringing your smartphone with you everywhere is fine, as long as you aren’t ignoring real-life people who are talking to you when you start checking it.
  25. If the people across from you aren’t laughing, it probably wasn’t that funny.
  26. Constructive criticism is not a reflection on you as a human being. Your worth as a person is not being disparaged when a colleague offers a suggestion regarding your work.
  27. I wasn’t kidding about the bodily functions thing. If nacho cheese is not your intestine’s friend, you either shouldn’t eat it or shouldn’t complain about it when you do.
  28. If spicy food is not your friend, do not share that with the class. Describing your reaction to it as “ring of FIRE” will not make you sound cooler.
  29. Bringing up dissection, biology class, or chocolate-covered poop during lunch won’t make you sound cooler either.
  30. Tweeting during meetings is not polite.
  31. Complimenting a woman’s blouse while staring at her chest will not endear you to anyone.
  32. Asking polite and honest questions about religious or lifestyle preferences might not always be appreciated, even if you have good intentions. Asking hostile or facetious questions definitely won’t be.
  33. Yes, there are people who are smarter than you in the world.
  34. When giving a presentation to colleagues who have not studied software engineering, using giant blocks of code as a demonstration will not always get your point across.
  35. If you are the only one in the office, you may play your music out loud. Otherwise, you have to wear your headphones.
  36. Deodorant.
  37. If it’s bleeding, put a band-aid on it. Talking about it during lunch isn’t going to stop the blood.
  38. If your bra is visible, put a shirt on.
  39. If it’s still visible, choose a different shirt.
  40. If the problem persists, go shopping.
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The Problem With Purity

This is so very, very true, and it makes it incredibly sad that we live in this kind of world.

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Anima mundi

We All Fall Down

Sunset over the Na Pali coast, Kaua’i, Hawai’i

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“Halo” – Beyoncé

Because sometimes oldies are goodies.

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Rape Culture, and why it’s WRONG

…I’m tired of LIVING in rape culture. THANK YOU to Lauren Nelson, who’s doing her part to stand up for women and justice in our country.

Rethink the Rant

TRIGGER WARNING:

The following includes descriptions, photos, and video that may serve as a trigger for victims of sexual violence.
Please be advised. 

Someone asked me today, “What is ‘rape culture’ anyway? I’m tired of hearing about it.”

Yeah, I hear ya. I’m tired of talking about it. But I’m going to keep talking about it because people like you keep asking that question.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, no one says, “Stop.”

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, they can’t get anyone to come forward.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and adults are informed of it, but no consequences are doled out because the boys “said nothing happened.”

Rape culture is when a group…

View original post 1,115 more words

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The Band Perry – “Better Dig Two”

…because country music can be AWESOME. And also kind of creepy, eery, and morbid.

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“On Living”

I
Living is no laughing matter:
you must live with great seriousness
like a squirrel, for example–
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Living is no laughing matter:
you must take it seriously,
so much so and to such a degree
that, for example, your hands tied behind your back,
your back to the wall,
or else in a laboratory
in your white coat and safety glasses,
you can die for people–
even for people whose faces you’ve never seen,
even though you know living
is the most real, the most beautiful thing.
I mean, you must take living so seriously
that even at seventy, for example, you’ll plant olive trees–
and not for your children, either,
but because although you fear death you don’t believe it,
because living, I mean, weighs heavier.
II
Let’s say we’re seriously ill, need surgery–
which is to say we might not get up
from the white table.
Even though it’s impossible not to feel sad
about going a little too soon,
we’ll still laugh at the jokes being told,
we’ll look out the window to see if it’s raining,
or still wait anxiously
for the latest newscast. . .
Let’s say we’re at the front–
for something worth fighting for, say.
There, in the first offensive, on that very day,
we might fall on our face, dead.
We’ll know this with a curious anger,
but we’ll still worry ourselves to death
about the outcome of the war, which could last years.
Let’s say we’re in prison
and close to fifty,
and we have eighteen more years, say,
before the iron doors will open.
We’ll still live with the outside,
with its people and animals, struggle and wind–
I  mean with the outside beyond the walls.
I mean, however and wherever we are,
we must live as if we will never die.
III
This earth will grow cold,
a star among stars
and one of the smallest,
a gilded mote on blue velvet–
I mean this, our great earth.
This earth will grow cold one day,
not like a block of ice
or a dead cloud even
but like an empty walnut it will roll along
in pitch-black space . . .
You must grieve for this right now
–you have to feel this sorrow now–
for the world must be loved this much
if you’re going to say “I lived”. . .
– Nâzım Hikmet Ran
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“Love Recognized”

There are many things in the world and you
Are one of them. Many things keep happening and
You are one of them, and the happening that
Is you keeps falling like snow
On the landscape of not-you, hiding hideousness, until
The streets and the world of wrath are choked with snow.

How many things have become silent? Traffic
Is throttled. The mayor
Has been, clearly, remiss and the city
Was totally unprepared for such a crisis. Nor
Was I– yes, why should this happen to me?
I have always been a law abiding citizen.

But you, like snow, like love, keep falling,
And it is not certain that the world will not be
Covered in a glitter of crystalline whiteness.

Silence.

-Robert Penn Warren

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